After the summer. This morning was cool, it even felt cold when I left in southern direction from Breda, along the Belgian border. At noon, under the trees, it is still cool. The midday sun on my face is pleasantly warm. Not the hot dry warmth of South-Germany, a month ago, but just nice warm. You can feel the coming of autumn in it. My legs still feel stiff, during the walk today. Still stiff from the long walk. I did not do any stretch excercises, no yoga, nothing during my long walk this summer. Stepping into my shoes in the morning en off we go, walk all day and take them off after putting up my tent. That is how I did that. The pain comes afterwards and is a forewarning for the next long walk.
After the walk. It’s almost four weeks now since I came back. That is to say, my body with the stiff legs is back but something is missing, something has not yet come back to me. It feels like missing, like a tension; a part of my mind, a part of my soul is still wandering around there. Somewhere in the Bavarian Woods, I know. Have I walked too fast after all then? Too far, too fast, too goal oriented and now part of me is not yet ready over there and has to find its way back home. A sort of trailing of the mind, like electric current trails the tension by which it is created.
Yet maybe this is a preceding effect. Because who says that my bodily sensation should be leading, maybe it is my body that should not have been here. Maybe I have litterally outwalked myself, do I need to be with ‘something’and not the other way around. Maybe it is current that creates tension and is home something or somewhere else, not here where my body is now.
I am reading a book by Belgian writer Griet op de Beeck; “When you are standing still, no one can see that you are lost”. Strange is that, for me it seems like it’s the other way around. I móve, so no one can see how lost I am.
I think this autumn it might be worthwhile to have more attention for the current and less for the tension.