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She says it on the phone. “Take good care of yourself”, she says. Like we say to people more often, when we wish them to be well. That they be well notwithstanding troubles or difficulties, that they have fun, that they are happy. I say “yes” to her, but I realise at the same time that I am not really sure what it means, to take good care of myself. I realise it is not as simple as it sounds. Taking care of yourself is eating healthy, having enough sleep, being in balance, finding relaxation. I also suddenly become aware that taking care of yourself means that you find yourself valuable, that you have a right to be. The right to be just the way you are. Vulnarability is part of that and it is something that I am still working on. I say to her: “I believe I often don’t take very good care of myself”.

Vulnarability and taking care of yourself was a theme in yesterdays’ meeting of my coach organisation. We were shown a short extract from the biography of Ray Charles (two parts, total 5 minutes), and were then asked to think about these three questions. I was amazed at the range of answers… answer to the first question was ‘pity’, which gives you a clue to the things I am still working on.

  1. What emotion do you feel?
  2. What is his vulnarability and how does he deal with it?
  3. What is her vulnarability and how does she deal with it?

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