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I have planned this years’ spring walks in the Netherlands. They are to be found on the Dutch pages. If you are interested in walking a couple of days in the Netherlands, please let me know. It is my preperation for the long walk from Belgrade to Istanbul and to have some nice walking days together. You are wholeheartedly invited. With the planning of the walks the old question and uncertainty arise again. Why do I do this?

Exploring this question I walk a short bit along the river Mark and the forest south of Breda. It’s a day that doesn’t exactly know what it wants to be. It isn’t cold and it isn’t warm. The ice on the big moor lies melting. There are clouds in the air that promise sunshine and rain at the same time. A nothing day. Where there is nothing, anything is possible. A green haze lies over the willows on the waterfront. Together with the birds that give this warmer day its sound, they give an impression of an early spring. I want to say; a hope of an early spring, though the brain insists on its impossibility. Hope is a painful concept for me. You can entangle it with longing or expectation. Emily Dickinson wrote a beautiful poem about hope; hope is the thing with feathers. I believe Emily had a pure hope, or maybe a lot less longing. I still confuse hope, longing and expectation. That’s me.

Yesterday I was here too and in the evening my Achilles’ tendon hurt. Today I feel why; I walked too fast and I wasn’t ‘with it’. Back to the question why I am walking this long walk. It is a way of proving myself and it still feels a bit confusing. There is nothing wrong with proving yourself. Expressing yourself into this earth maybe even is our reason for being, your way of showing your identity and your character. When you have to prove yourself, that is where it goes wrong. You are not being yourself anymore; you are being for someone else; your father, your mother, your husband, your wife, your children, your boss. Socrates said that our quality is also our dark side, as if it were two sides of a medallion. I think that our quality asks to be connected with our heart to grow big without having to be. So I go walking with pleasure and an open heart. With my hope and my longing. And if my Achilles’ tendon plays up again I know that I have to go back to be ‘with it’.

An insight that was lovingly given to me last year;

For the first time in my life I didn’t have to be someone. I already was. 

The day decided on a sunny ending.

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