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In the nursinghome where my father lives there are only deeply demented people. They are in an enclosed area, for their own good. They can’t get out and they don’t really want to get out. But they do want to go home. Every time I visit my father someone is asking to go home. The nurses distract them from the theme, because the people don’t really know where home is anymore, only the feeling of ‘home’ has remained. It is so heartbreaking and sad; they want to go home but have no memory anymore of where or what that is. It gives me this feeling of when you miss someone you deeply and intensely love but fail to remember who that is. A sense of feeling for light in complete and eternal darkness. I recognize this within myself as a deep, deep loneliness. A loneliness that expresses itself in a intense longing for connection. A longing for home.

My father got to go away. He was in the company of the three wise man on January 6th. I believe he is home now.



  1. Sorry for your loss. I hope he is indeed home now.

    • I do believe he is. I believe all of us are always on our way home, as Novalis said.

  2. Dear Wim,
    Thank you for sharing the details of your fathers last journey ‘home’. It seems that through your own journey from Dublin to Istanbul, you shared many emotions with us including joy and also pain (both emotional and physical)and I am also sure that during that long trek, your father was never far from your thoughts.
    You have inspired us with your blogs and I now hope that you will be blessed with the strength to overcome the deep loneliness that you feel through losing your beloved dad..

    • Hi Tony, So good to hear from you, Yes it was an intense and inspiring trek for me and I am glad to have been able to share that. And as you noted very wisely, my father was with me many times during that journey. And while he is home now, there are many more journeys to be made. Keep in touch!

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