Your longing started your journey but you never fully arrived
You remember the space where you never were
You knew of the warmth you were never to feel
You’re missing something you never had
You’re lost on familiar roads
You disappear when staying is too hard
The cold feels unbearable
Your longing calls out in the silence of your voice
Wandering through this emptiness, exploring the fullness of expectation and longing is what I do on this windy, rainy day. It calls for a steady pace across long straight paths filled with mud and puddles. Walking slowly makes you sink into sorrow and hurt. The emtpiness doesn’t easily give up its fullness.
The 13th century Sufi poet Hafiz describes this in his poem ‘My eyes so soft’,
“Don’t surrender your loneliness so quickly.
Let it cut more deep.
Let it ferment and season you
As few human or even divine ingredients can.
Something missing in my heart tonight
Has made my eyes so soft,
My voice so tender,
My need of God